I find myself saying this often, to my friends, my kids, random people who come in to my restaurant for a quick drink and end up sharing their life story with me before even mentioning their name!! It has become my life motto.
Perspective can be a tricky thing to get a handle on, I mean seriously, who really wants to hear “Oh your whole life is falling apart? You lost your job, your partner cheated, and your health is going to hell in a handbasket? Just look at the Brightside dear, focus on what you have to be grateful for instead.”
Ummmmm, ya ok, brilliant idea, why didn’t I think of that? (Insert eye roll) I got 2 words for you lady, and they ain’t “Good Day.”
When we are in the muck of it all, it can be hard as hell to consider any perspective other then “My Life Sucks.” Sure, we know we have lots to be grateful for, and of course we don’t want things to get any worse, but to allow ourselves to take a step back and really consider that any of this crap could be a blessing seems preposterous.
And yet…… it’s our only saving grace.
My life hasn’t always been sunshine and rainbows, for real, I haven’t always had this annoyingly optimistic point of view that everything is going to always turn out far better then I could even imagine, hard to believe eh? I’ve been on the other side, I’ve been in those extremely dark places where getting out of bed was a chore, where I felt as if no one could possibly understand how I felt, where I thought that my life had become such an utter disappointment that I wasn’t even sure it was worth living anymore. So, believe me when I say, I know how you feel, and I also know that change is still possible.
How did I get out of it?? The very first, and in my opinion, most important step was when I chose to stop being a victim. Blaming others for my unhappiness and feeling sorry for myself was getting me nowhere, in fact, it was just pulling me deeper into a rabbit hole of depression and self loathing.
The second step was making the demand that shit was changing. I didn’t care what it was going to look like, what people were going to think, or HOW my life was going to change, I just knew THAT it was going to change and was open to whatever came my way. (I won’t bore you with every detail, although feel free to check my about page if you’re interested in hearing the rest of it)
Those 2 steps were probably the most difficult steps I’ve taken in my entire spiritual journey and were also the most transformational. Shifting my perspective from “woe is me” to “whoa, IT’S ME,” was a blessing beyond words. I had been looking at things all wrong. Instead of being bummed out thinking life “could never be the same as it was before,” I started to get excited that it could be even better than before. Instead of thinking my whole world was falling apart, I could see that it was an opportunity for me to rebuild it in a way that I wanted, not everyone else. And instead of feeling like a failure and a disappointment, I could see that It was only because I was trying to live a lie as my truth, and I wasn’t meant to succeed at it.
By allowing myself to shift my perspective on some of the hardest times of my life, I was able to heal my trauma, let go of anger and resentment, and actually begin to have gratitude for all the lessons I had learned that were delivered in heartache and disappointment.
Shifting perspective has come to be an incredibly valuable gift for me. It allows me to see the blessing in every situation, even if it’s tough to see it right away and it also allows me to empower and inspire my friends, my family, and my clients to move out of victimhood and begin living their greatest life.
I encourage all of my readers to take a step back and see where they could change their perspective to create more freedom and joy. It doesn’t have to be significant or life changing right off the bat, start small. Maybe instead of getting mad at the traffic jam you take advantage of the quiet time in your car to listen to your audible book or podcast before getting home. Or if you’re a people pleaser, instead of feeling bad about saying no to others, feel excited that you finally said yes to yourself. Or my personal fave, when your kids make fun of your dancing and lack of rhythm while you’re rocking out in the kitchen you simply tell them that your rhythm is on point, you just hear the music differently than they do!
Perspective is key, however you wish to look at it, there is always a bright side, it’s just a matter of how you want to look at it. Remember, just because you can’t see the sun through the clouds doesn’t mean it didn’t rise today!!!