I remember being 23 years old, I had already graduated college with honours, spent 2 years after that as a financial advisor (Sounds fancy right?) and then took a job in Industrial sales before finding out I was pregnant.
I hated my sales job, but I had only been there 2 months before finding out I was expecting and figured I was just hormonal and should give it a fair chance. Besides, I made great money, had good benefits, and I needed to get my shit together If I was going to be a mom. So I stuck it out, for all those reasons, and counted down the days till I could be off work for an entire year with my baby.
Towards the end of my mat leave I started looking for new jobs, I knew I didn’t want to wake up every day and go back to that sales job I hated to much, I started putting out resumes and ended up landing a pretty sweet job at a local company in their accounting department. I was pumped! I was a numbers nerd, loved math and accounting in school, they had offered me a solid salary with room to grow, pension, benefits and, ahem, my own business card!
It didn’t take long for me to realize that the office life was not for me. I had just spent an entire year off with my son praying for time to slow down, and here I was, back at work, praying for it to speed up. Can’t wait for lunch, next break is in 30 min, 2 more days till Friday. UGH. I hated wishing my time away. At the same time, I was also working part time at a new restaurant that just opened up in my town to make some extra cash, with a new baby and an upcoming wedding to pay for, on top of just buying our first house, the extra cash definitely helped out, but I knew I couldn’t keep up with the pace. Some days I would drop my son off at daycare and not see him again till I dropped him off the next day. So, after a few weeks of trying to juggle both jobs I decided that something had to give and I had to choose one or the other.
I had an important decision to make, do I stick with my secure, responsible, opportunistic, safe 9-5? or do I go with the unpredictable, inconsistent, nights and weekend bartending job that was always so much fun?
I knew what I wanted, but I needed someone to give me permission to choose it, I needed someone to tell me “Follow your heart, do what’s fun for you, don’t worry what other people think, its your life and you do what makes you happy.”
But no one said that. It was more like “What are you thinking? You have a family to consider, go with the responsible choice” and my favourite “Sooo what, you’re JUST going to be a bartender for the rest of your life?” (Insert judgement here!!)
And I totally get it, not one of those people who were offering advice were meaning to be unkind. Every negative and judgemental remark really did come from a loving place, and to be totally honest, back then if the shoe was on the other foot, I might have responded the same way, but I couldn’t ignore the pull in my soul to take a leap of faith and choose it anyway.
I wasn’t into any of that spiritual woo woo stuff back then as I am now, but looking back, I know now that the universe was guiding me towards something I couldn’t understand at the time and I had to just trust.
Thank goodness I did. Fast forward 11 years later I see how taking that one step, that one leap of faith that I couldn’t explain or justify, was all I needed to do in order for the universe to begin putting everything else in to alignment for me.
The wedding never happened, (at least not the one I was planning at that time), my relationship with my sons dad had already been fizzling for some time and it ended shortly after I took the job, As fate would have it, I fell in love with my boss, we got married 2 years later, he eventually sold his part of the restaurant and we went on to open our own successful restaurant that we have been operating for the last 7 years together.
Sounds pretty crazy right??? I would have never imagined my life would change the way that it did by making that one choice, and quite possibly, had I known prior to choosing I might not have had the courage. (seriously, if someone told you that your whole life was going to turn upside down by making this one choice but didn’t tell you how, and that it might be hard to see at first but you just have to trust that it will work out in the end, would you feel confident enough to choose it????) Tough one right?
That’s the thing, we never know what our choices are going to create, or how its going to change our life, we just have to trust that following our heart will lead us on the right path, no matter how that path appears.
Unfortunately, what often ends up happening instead is that we get too caught up with those dreaded “How’s”, we make assumptions that choosing this will create that and our minds take on the snowball effect of conclusions and fears before we even get a chance to choose. And that’s where we get stuck. In our heads with a whole made up scenario played out before we even take another step. Bottom line is, We simply have to just choose.
Decide what you want and take one small step in that direction every day. We can’t wait for everything to fall in to place before we take that step, we must take that step in order for everything to fall in to place.
We have to begin to trust in ourselves, in our choices, in those little nudges we get, they are signs and signals from the universe leading you on your path.
If I didn’t follow my heart, I couldn’t even guess where I would be today, every choice I have made, good or bad, has lead me to this point right now.
Not only am I JUST a bartender, I’m an owner, manager, energy healer, transformation coach, and I am also a great mom to 3 fabulous kids that I couldn’t be more proud of, I get to teach them, along with my private clients, every day, the importance of following your heart and ignoring that part of your brain (as well as your friend circle) that tells you, you cant. (I also learned that those business cards I thought were kind of a big deal in the corporate world, I can make online to read whatever I want for like $25!)
I wear many different hats, and I love every role I get to play. I am living my dream life, all because I decided to go against the crowd and choose for me. Was it easy?? Hell no, but I can tell you this, If I could go back and start over, I wouldn’t change a damn thing!
So if you can relate to this, if you’re struggling or on the fence about making a change, let me be inside your circle to remind you “You’re amazing, You got this, You can’t fail” because I promise you this, when you listen to those little whispers of your soul, when you trust your heart and take a leap of faith towards something that lights you up, the universe WILL have your back, and I will too!