Why Good Enough isn’t Good Enough Anymore
I spent a lot of my adult life living just kind of ho hum. If you’ve read my blogs faithfully you would have heard me make mention of that a time or two already, it’s something I talk about often because it’s something I’m incredibly passionate about. Why?? Because I see far too many people settling in their lives existing as “just kind of ok” and it genuinely hurts my heart. I know the mundane feeling of simply existing which is why I now live by “Good enough, is not Good enough anymore”
Now I’m not talking money, or status or material things, not even a little bit to be honest. I’m not much for name brands or even showy possessions, I’m talking sheer joy. When it comes to being happy, I simply refuse to settle for good enough.
When we begin to convince ourselves that good enough is good enough we settle into a lifestyle, a comfort zone more or less, of feeling only mediocre amounts of joy. We have moments of happiness and laughter but the in between time where we are just simply
BE-ing are ultimately just kind of ok, and this, in my opinion is where the problem lies.
We set this unofficial bar of appropriate sadness that’s easy enough to deal with because the happy times are still quite joyful and the miserable times aren’t as frequent, we convince ourselves that this is life, and it’s just how it is, and so we never really think it’s possible, or even really necessary to bring in more joy.
For me, I was ok with this mentality for a long time. The good times in my life were great, but the bad times were so heartbreakingly miserable and yet, I simply convinced myself that it was good enough. The balance of my joy was so uneven that I didn’t even realize it made my joy levels as a whole just sort of average.
Let me try and use an example of what I mean by this. When my husband and I first started dating we had a blast together, we would stay up all hours of the night just talking and getting to know one another, it was, as most new relationships typically are, pure joy. As our honeymoon phase started to dissipate and we became closer, we also began arguing more. Usually about dumb shit to be honest, but an argument none the less which would usually result in me being upset. Now, you guys know I’m a pretty emotional person on the best of days so you can only imagine the floodgates that open up when I’m feeling less the upbeat.
Now, back in that day I was a grudge holding champion. My silent treatment kicked ass and I was able to make my husband walk around on egg shells just by the way I carried myself around the house.
*Note to readers, this is not something I am actually proud of, but it is the ugly truth and I write my blogs with full transparency!
We could go daaayyys without talking and be nothing but cordial to one another which was the the bare minimum of communication considering we did go to work together every single day. Eventually one of us would cave, usually me, which I was always a little pissed about, but I actually later came to realize that he never made the first move to make things better because in his words “You’re scary when your mad”
The point is, at that time I was completely ok with this standard of joy. With living out day after day walking on eggshells in my own home, stewing about how much he pissed me off, and how clearly, he didn’t even care to make things better.
This was not a happy home for anyone. Not for him, certainly not for me, and I can imagine it wasn’t the coziest most loving environment for our kids to be in during these times too. Now, I must say, we were always really great at not fighting in front of the kids, in my head they would have never known we were even angry at each other, but looking back, I know they certainly must have felt it. How could they not?
Ultimately though, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t all bad. Eventually we would make up, I mean, as best we knew how back then, which basically meant we weren’t really getting anywhere fighting and so we tried to convince each other we would do better only to come full circle in a few short weeks, maybe months if we were lucky, and we would be right back where we started.
Life wasn’t bad though, it was good enough. We had a home, our health, great kids, I mean, so I wasn’t overly happy, I also wouldn’t say I was terribly unhappy at that time either, for the most part, I couldn’t complain.
And that was where I settled.
I decided that since things weren’t bad, then they must be good, and this was how I lived. This is how a lot of people live really, as not bad. For some it works, they’re perfectly happy with ho hum, but not me. I wanted more, I could no longer be satisfied with good enough, not with my marriage, not with anything. I was done living a mediocre life.
And that’s when everything changed, and let me tell you, it wasn’t fucking pretty, but boy did it change. I had been desperately hoping, begging, PRAYING for my life to get better, for my connections to deepen, my anger to subside. I felt like I needed a miracle, and it showed up in the most fucked up way possible, but I did in fact show up.
You see, growth is sometimes quite messy. It can be uncomfortable and challenging and it can sometimes make you feel lake a sheer failure as a person, but I tell you this, as long as you show up every day and refuse to allow yourself to go back in to your old ways of doing things, it can be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever experienced.
Now here’s another very important thing to remember with all this. Sometimes, just sometimes, we don’t feel as if we are looking for more, we feel as if we are ok with the mediocre and satisfied with simply existing in this life time, sometimes you might not be praying for a change but you feel like your whole world is falling apart anyway and you just want to scream.
These are the times that it’s important for you to remember, that sometimes, you have been so comfortable with your misery that you disguise it as joy and convince yourself that you are in fact satisfied with where you’re at, and although you may have yourself convinced, deep in your subconscious, you do not have the Universe convinced. Energy doesn’t lie, so it doesn’t mater what you’re telling yourself, if the vibration you’re putting out is in fact a longing for something more, the Universe will absolutely deliver.
A word to the wise, when it feels as if your whole world is falling apart, when it feels as if everything that could go wrong is, when it feels as though you are at the lowest part of rock bottom you’ve ever experienced in your life, this is process of transformation.
I can’t sugarcoat the process, because theres not doubt it is uncomfortable as hell, but the result, in hindsight, is undeniably worth every step. Sometimes it takes our whole world coming undone to realize we deserve better. For many of us, it takes hitting rock bottom to realize that something needs to change drastically, and almost always, the Universe has something far greater in store for you that you just haven’t yet been able to imagine.
Be patient my friend, something wonderful is happening and although it feels like you are living your worst nightmare, it’s quite possibly things just coming to an end in order to make room for new beginnings so carry out the life of your dreams because maybe, just maybe, good enough isn’t good enough for you either.